Against all odds...an unsent letter to my dad

Hello all again…perase arketos kairos apo tin teleftaia fora pou ekana log in gia na grapsw afta pou skeftomai…na’mai loipon meta apo toso kairo na moirazomai ksana mazi sas osa exw mesa sto mialo mou ton teleftaio kairo.
Niwthw olo ton kosmo mou na exei girisei anapoda…ta panta na exoun parei mia periergh kai anarmosth fora kai den kserw pleon ti na kanw.edw kai meres opou kai an stathw vlepw 2 sigekrimena proswpa mprosta mou…skies pou pleon me katadiwkoun apou vrethw kai opou stathw.to 1o….tou mpampa mou…egrapsa ena gramma prin ligo kairo kai tou to esteila…oso periergo kai an akougete…eixa anagh na tou milisw kai na me akousei…evlepa ta eripeia tou dialimenou kosmou mou na me plakwnoun kai den antexa….ton antikriza pantou….

Dear papa.stelnw se esena pou toso ligo gnwrisa.se esena pou me tosh via mou sterisan…exw brethei se adieksodo .den kserw pia poios eimai kai pou vadizw. vlepw to telos mou na plisiazei oxi giati to thelw alla giati...giati den iparxei tpt ma tpt sto opoio mporw na pistepsw...Mou milises prin xronia gia oikogenia...pou einai? giati sta 26 mou xronia na psaxnw na vrw kai na agalinw pliges pou anoixtikan prin kan genithw...einai diskolh h zwh esu mou to eipes...alla par'oles tis diskolies egw ta afisa ola kai irtha na se vrw...de me enoiakse tpt kai akoma kai twra to mono pou thelw einai na erthw na se vrw.MPAMPAAAAAA.....de mou dothike pote h efkairia na se fwnaksw etsi alla....mpampaaaa se exw anagh...thelw mia simboulh...den mporw na ta kratw ola pleon mesa mou...efiges makria mou prin kala kala se gnwrisw...figes makria mou prin kala kala prolavw na sou pw poso anagh se exw.poso anagh exw th simboulh sou....poso anagh eixa apo mikro paidi kapoion na m deiksei ti einai swsto kai ti lathos...giati na se paroun makria mou? giati na min eimai k egw san ola ta paidia....GIATI NA MIN MPORW NA FWNAKSW KAPOION MPAMPAAAAAA?poion na antikrisw? pou na pw ta mistika mou?pou na empisteftw afta pou niwthw afou esu den eisai poia edw? 11 septebrh itan....ekei pou eixa arxisei na se gnwrizw...ekei pou eipa epitelous eimai spiti mou....efiges makria....to onoma sou xaragmeno gia panta mesa mou...oi eikones....den mporw na tis perigrapsw....tromaktikes....pseftikes...kai esy....kai esy na min eisai edw na me simboulepseis ti na kanw....ti na kanw me tin oikogeneia mou...ti na kanw me ton anthrwpo pou agapw....giati me afises?giati na iparxei tosh distixia?koitazw to prin...de leei na ksekolisei apo mesa mou ekeinh h eikona....sou grafw afta pou pote den mou dothike h efkeria na sou pw.s'agapaw mpampa mou....mou leipeis!!! kserw oti eisai ena komati tou ouranou gi'afto kai strefw to vlema mou kathe vradi ekei psila mipws mporesw kai se vrw anamesa sta astra.exeis kai parea ekei panw.na mou prosexeis ta 2 filarakia mou ekei panw...min tous afiseis monous tous tha xathoun...etsi xamenos niwthw k egw edw katw kai h monh mou sintrofia einai oi skepseis mou...giati omws?axx poso dikio eixes otan mou eixes pei na min empisteftw pote kanenan...na min pw pote ta mistika mou se kanenan....einai kakos o kosmos...de thelw na zw mesa se olh afth thn kakia.mpampa mou....peira apofaseis...epraksa metaniwsa xamogelesa kai palu epestrepsa stin idia katastash pou vriskomoun prin kairo...boitheia apo poion na zitisw? giati na einai toso kakos o kosmos? anarwtieme ksana kai ksana...giati na se pligwnoun anthrwpoi pou latreveis? :( mou peiran palu tin empnefsh mou makria...den mporw na kanw afto pou panta latreva toso polu....mpampa...an me akous apo ekei psila pou eisai...could it be my destiny to be lonely eipe o 2pac alla de thelw...fovamai na eimai monos mou thimase? sto eixa pei mia mera sto spiti...me afiseis omws mono mou kai efiges gia ena taksidi xwris na me pareis mazi sou....i so much miss you...wonder if heaven is a better place to live...all i can see is my happy home...that's my fantasy...:( mpampaaaaaaaaa mou....se xreiazomai oso pote. Apo edw katw pou emeina pleon monos mou prospathw na stisw ksana anastima kai na stathw sta podia mou.metaniwnw pou den efyga apo edw pera.kathe mera olo kai pio polu…ma vlepw to idio proswpo kathe mera na mou thimizei tous logous gia tous opoious emeina.logoi pou pleon exoun xathei…etsi apla apo ti mia mera stin allh.den einai para anamniseis…opws toses alles pou exw mesa mou…opws toses pou epi toso kairo prospathousa na thapsw vatheia kai na ksexasw….erxontai twra oles mazi kai me steixiwnoun kathe vradu….what shall I do to get to you and find a way back to your heart…exoun alaksei ta panta ….den kserw pleon….kserw omws oti oti upirxe uparxei….kai den prokeite na svisei kai na xathei pote.akougontas 2pac kai to life goes on kathomai edw na grafw se esena pou pleon sinaixizeis kapou allou…kapou pio omorfa kai irema…kapou opou den iparxei distixia kai thlipsh…kapou pou iparxoun pantou louloudia…hehe thimase poso polu agapaw ta louloudia…?

Ena louloudi sto vytho
(part 1)Ena louloudi sto vytho sou apopse vrika,
ena louloudi pou agapisa san tin kardia pou pote den eixa
skeftomai ta oneira kai tis efxes pou dwsame,
toses agalies kai logia pou pote den ta prodwsame
twra monos mou emeina edw na skeftomai ksana
oneira kai skepseis pou kapote emoiazan toso alithina
Ena louloudi mesa ap’to vytho sou mazepsa
Ena louloudi pou toso polu agaphsa.
(ref) Ena louloudi apopse tha sou ferw,vgalmeno apo tis skepseis mou kai tin kardia mou.
Ena louloudi pou ekopsa kai dipla tiliksa ola ta oneira mou.
Kai an twra monos mou tha kathomai kai oi skepseis de girnane
Kserw kala prospathisa kai as twra allo den koimame
(part2)Ena louloudi emeine na fwnazei t’onoma sou
Ena louloudi pou ekopsa gia sena kai edwsa ston khpo ths kardias sou.
T’onoma sou menei na hxei mes’th siwph mou ,
La8h anepanalipta agizoun pleon to kormi mou
Ma to louloudi egw pote de tha zitisw
Einai diko sou aggele mou twra pia egw den to aksizw.’
Na se prosexei tis kries nyxtes tou xeimwna
Na s’agaliazei otan tha vriskese akoma
Otan tha vriskese se merh makrina,na thimase pws pote den einai arga
Mono na to prosexeis,min to afiseis pote na marathei
Akoma kai ti stigmh pou o ilios tha svisei kai ola tha exoun xathei….Ena louloudi ena louloudi……
(ref)
(part 3) Kapou edw o stixos mou teleiwnei,
Kai to louloudi anthise toso omorfo panw sto xioni
Na gemizei xrwmata ena kataspro topio
Na sou krataei sintrofia otan vrexei kai otan kanei krio
Ston ixo tis vroxhs tha akouw to onoma sou
Tis wrest is ateleiwtes pou eimouna konta sou
Mono na min ksexaseis oti kapou sti Lefkada
Enas trelos s’agapise kai tha’kane ta panta
Enas trelos pou sou’dwse ekeino to louloudi
Pou apo ta perata tis ghs kratouse ena aggeloudi
Eisai esy o aggelos esy kai to louloudi
Na me thimase otan thes mazi me etouto to tragoudi
Kleinw tis portes mou afinw ta oneira mou
Teleiwnw to tragoudi mou sou deinw tin kardia mou
Einai dikia sou kai afth mazi me ta oneira mou
Na se prosexei opou pas, na se krata panta konta mou
Kalhnixta aggele mou kai oneira gluka….
Ekeino to louloudi sou afinw na sou krataei sintrofia
(Ref)
AGAPH…
Yparxei mono mia pragmatikh eftixia sth zwh…. Na AGAPAS kai na SE AGAPOUN…agaph den einai na koitazese me ton allo…alla na koitas MAZI me ton allo sthn idia katefthinsh….agaph einai aplws mia leksh mexri na vrethei aftos h afth pou tha tis dwsei nohma…enas anthrwpos monos tou den einai tipota…dio anthrwpoi omws pou anhkoun o enas ston allo ftiaxnoun mazi enan oloklhro kosmo…Agaph einai mia psixh pou katoikei se dio swmata (ARISTOTELHS) agaph einai na moirazese tis apolafseis kai na enwneis tis psixes…h agaph de vlepei me ta matia alla me thn psixh…to na agapiseis kai na erwtefteis einai efkolo…to na parameineis omws erwtevmenos kai na sinaixizeis na agapas einai oti pio idiaitero…De mporoume na kanoume spoudaia kai megala pragmata mporoume omws na kanoume mikra pragmata me polu megalh agaph…agaph einai na xoreveis akoma kai otan h mousikh exei stamatisei…arkei ena lepto na simpathiseis kapoion h kapoia…mia wra na erwtefteis…kai mia mera na agapiseis…pernei omws mia oloklirh zwh na ksexaseis…h agaph kanei th gh na girizei…peirazei pou ta eniwsa ola afta?  anyway tha stamatisw na grafw edw…cya all soon